Flashback Friday- Please let us get better.

Rj and I are about to have our 1 year wedding anniversary. We have hit a rough patch. Yesterday we were pretty close to getting a divorce. We are picking up the pieces and trying to make everything better. Anyways, here is February 2nd, 2010! I was 12 weeks pregnant. We were going to get married in July but moved it.








Let's go back in time. :(


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Comments

  1. The fact that you WANT it to get better is a good sign that it will. All marriages go through rough patches, thats why people always say "marriage is hard work", it's cliche, but it's true. Bobby and I came pretty close to divorce around this time a year ago. He wanted to work things out but I wanted to leave. This was of course before I got pregnant. We had been together for 10 years, married for 3, and of those 3 years only about 6 months was what I would call "blissful". I wanted to do my own thing. I was tired of being drug around by the Navy and I missed my family and having my own friends. I wanted to figure out who I was without him in the picture and I didn't feel like I was in love with him anymore. After about a year of putting each other through hell We decided we needed to either quit or try harder. We went to counseling which didn't help at all bc the lady was a nut case but that was one thing we could finally agree on. We figured that if we loved each other enough at one point to put up with that much pain from each other and still want to stay then we had something worth fighting for. It wasn't easy, I cleaned up my act, cut lose some bad ties, and forced myself to be happy. I don't know what changed, but it did. A few months later I found out I was pregnant. A lot of people think I stayed bc of that but I never knew until after I decided what I wanted. Most people don't even realize that we were close to divorce a year ago bc our relationship now is so great. Not to say we don't argue, get on each others nerves, hurt each others feelings... but I guess we know where we've been and that if we can make it through that then the rest is just small stuff. So I'm not telling you this to rub how happy I am in your face I am telling you this to say that even when it seems hopeless, there is still hope and to never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about. It's frustrating, and heartbreaking, and unfair most of the time. But in the end it's worth it. And if things don't work out just know that there is a reason for that too but it wont be because you didn't give it your all. Love you Jess and if you need anything I'm just a keyboard away.

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  2. Thank you SO much for your comment, Summer. That really made me feel a lot better and more hopeful. I'm glad you too worked it out. I love you too! Thank you.

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  3. i've heard the first year is the toughest. throw in a new baby & you guys have pretty much been through the ringer! hang in there. ::hugs::

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  4. The D word is a dangerous word. We don't even say it in this house. The first few years are rough. I think you two have a whole lot more fight in ya :)

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  5. I think it is a good sign that you are acknowledging that you've had it. Half the battle is saying that you are unhappy out loud. Put it all out there, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Trust me, the first years ARE the hardest and if you can fight fairly and with respect for each other, you are on the right track to a great partnership. Hang in there babe.

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  6. :( Hang in there! All I can say from experience is that communication is key. Hope everything works out, and it's just a bump.

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  7. I agree, Amy. It got really tough for a bit. :/ Thank you!

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  8. We shouldn't either. Very scary. :( Thank you! I think we do too!

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  9. Thank you so much, Heidi! I am going to try my best and hope he does too!

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  10. Thank you! We definitely need to improve our communication skills. Me too!

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  11. You looked so beautiful and happy! What always helps us is to think back to our wedding day and remember exactly what we loved about each other so much that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. That keeps us motivated to work on our marriage. Especially with babies in the mix, things can get a little rough sometimes. Just hang in there and work on your relationship- it'll be worth it!

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  12. Thank you so much! I feel a lot more confident now with all the supportive comments. I'm not ready to give up.

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