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Friday, December 10, 2010

F***ed up father Friday?

Disclaimer: This probably won't be easy to read. It contains talk about child abuse and sexual abuse to a child. 

Today is my dad's birthday. I honestly don't know why I even call him dad. He damn sure hasn't done anything to earn that title.

My "dad" is in prison and will be for a long time. Only stupid people feel bad for him.

First off, I am not going to go into deep detail. I honestly don't want to scar my mother more than she already has been. She is an amazing woman. He is a piece of shit. He wasn't even worth her looking his direction let alone marrying him and having three kids with him.

Here are some random facts to catch you up then, I will tell the ending of the mess.

He hit each one of us, constantly. He beat our dogs. They pissed themselves when he was around them. He was mean about anything and everything. Before my sister was born my mom was pregnant with a different baby. My dad threw her down stairs. He was constantly fighting with and abusing my mother. He began sexually abusing me at the age of 8. A few years after he began abusing my sister. I still have vivid memories of it. It has affected my sister and I in two completely different way. We were never allowed to leave our yards. We were not allowed to go to friend's house. He would not let them come over. He claimed they would get hurt and their parents would sue. We only had fun when we were doing something HE wanted to do, such as going jet skiing. He is the most disgusting person on the planet to me. When I was in 6th grade a friend spent the night a few times. She told me he touched her. I told my mom and she didn't believe me. I still don't blame her though. I tried to hint to her so many times but I couldn't come out and tell her. I just couldn't form the words. It had gone on so long I was almost used to it. That's sick and sad.

Okay, so here we go. 

It was right after September 11th, 2001. I am 14 years old. My sister is 11 and my brother is 9. My mom left when I was 12 years old. She couldn't take his ridiculous abuse anymore. She couldn't afford to take us with her just yet. We stayed. I was SO angry at her for not taking us. I didn't understand why she couldn't. I would always fight with her when I saw her. I know she didn't know about the abuse but I blamed her for leaving us anyways. 

My mom spent the night on the weekends to watch us since we weren't in school and my dad was at work.

One day, the day that made us what we are, my mom was over our house. In tears and in an extreme panic she wakes us up. She makes us quickly dress, she grabs some stuff and we are thrown into my aunt's car. My mom is very upset. She is absolutely freaking out. We have no idea why.

My mom tells me what happened and why we were rushed out of the house. 

We had a cat named Suzie (relevant, promise). Suzie killed snake, squirrels, frogs. She constantly had her paws all over everything. On this day, my mom was in my dad's bedroom. Our cat was flinging her paws under the dresser trying to pull something out. She reaches her paw under and pulls out a VHS tape. Confused, my mom puts the video in. 

This tape is a video of my dad sexually abusing me. 

Our life was fixed because of a cat. Wow. Well, not fixed but it was a beginning.

I can not BEGIN to imagine what my mom was thinking when she saw that. I can't even bear the thought of seeing something like that involving my child. I can honestly say I probably would have wanted to KILL the person that harmed my child.

We arrive at my Aunt's. Some time later we have to leave my Aunt's. Someone in that house, no one will admit to who, destroyed the video tape. Whoever you are, I hope you burn in Hell for the pain you caused my family, especially my mom. Also, he is in prison for 40 years anyways so the joke is on you. 

When we left my Aunt's we come to Yulee. We live with my Nanny (mom's mom) for about 2 months until we get an apartment. 

This is what proves to me I have the best mom on the planet. She got us out of that environment. She found a job, car and an apartment. Despite the struggle and government assistance, she did it.

My dad has pretty much stalked us, at this point. He hid in the woods by my Nanny's house. At one point he waited for my brother to walk by, playing and talked to him. My brother wanted his dad. He had no male around. My mom started letting my brother see him. Huge mistake.

At the end of 2002, my dad had a girlfriend. He bought a motorcycle with the money he got off this accident. He and his girlfriend were drunk. The motorcycle crashed. My dad injured his arm severely and didn't go to the hospital. Days later his girlfriend called the police claiming his tried to light her on fire. Cops came into his house as he crawled out his back door. They caught him in a van in his yard.

He told the police he didn't try to catch her on fire and was with my mom at the time. My mom had a restraint order against him for us. My mom agreed that he was with her. On my 16th birthday, my dad  got out of jail and my mom went in. She told the court he wasn't with her. they said her previous statement was that he was with her. They put her in jail for lying.

One morning my dad broke into our house while my brother and I were at school. My sister had stayed home. He began to abuse my sister. WE THOUGHT WE LEFT THIS BEHIND IN MIDDLEBURG. She convinced him she had to pee. She wrapped a towel around herself, ran out of our apartment and to the only neighbor that we knew. She was not letting this happen again to her. He had made a copy of my little brother's key. This is a disgusting man.

Since he got out of jail he also abducted two girls, or attempted to, rather. Read the articles below. That is what he is prison for. When the Department of Children questioned about our abuse my sister and I we didn't answer the questions right away. They threw out our testimonials and said we were "coached" by my mom since we didn't answer the questions right away. Bullshit. We just left an abusive environment. What do you expect?

In 2003, they caught him. In 2005 he was sentenced. Hurray!

I will never talk to that man for the rest of my life. I have complete peace in that decision. 

Here's a list of the different articles:

On many occasions he tried to say he didn't do it. He even went as far as to say someone stole the keys to his car and tried to abduct girls.. Wow. People resort to extremes to try to get out of trouble, don't they? He confessed to what he did to his cell mate and also, while talking on the phone. Each girl identified him. He is a child abuser. We know you did it, Dumbass.

He tried call us and write us many times. We blocked him and even moved. My dad's family even tricked us a couple years ago when we came to visit. They let my brother talk to our dad on the phone and slipped him a letter while my sister and I weren't looking. They should, honestly, feel lucky we even talk to them after that. If my mom had her way we would never talk to them. I don't want to abandon my cousins though. They did nothing wrong.

Anyways, that's the story. Feel free to ask any questions if some of this is unclear.


  1. So so sorry you went through all that! I can't even to begin to imagine how difficult it would have been for you and your family!
    Your mum is really an amazing, strong woman and so are you! xxx

  2. Thank you! :/ It definitely made us stronger. I agree!

  3. Thats insane.. I'm sorry you went through that.. No one should ever have to go through that.. :/ You really are a strong woman <3

  4. I'm sorry, I had to stop reading, but I wanted to comment and say how very brave you, your siblings and your mother are. I wish you all just nothing but peace and stability. Big hug to you.

  5. Wow. How horrible. I'm glad your mom did something right away when she found out, and you guys were able to change your life. I will never understand how anyone can do something like that. xoxo

  6. Thank you! I completely agree! People are messed up.


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